It’s Wednesday! That means 2.5 days until stage time. That also means I’ve been carb deprived for approximately 600 hours… but who’s counting?? To be honest, I feel pretty good for 75% of the day, and then I hit the wall. Hard. I’ve had a difficult time trying to explain the feeling to other people, but yesterday I figured it out – it’s like everything is just shut down. I function normally, but it’s essentially just going through the motions for that 25% of the day. It’s an odd feeling, like your body has gone into a protective mode. Or like you’re functionally drunk.

But, I definitely do a lot of thinking inside that protected shell… just random thoughts that pop up from time to time – some snarky, some critical, some just strange thoughts. I’ve been jotting them down in my phone to compile them in one shot, so here you go. Enjoy & laugh – it’s hump day!

• Is it really so hard to flush the public toilet after you use it? At least use your foot if you’re a germaphobe!

• I proclaim “epic” to be the most overused word on social media. I hate it so much – no, your sandwich was NOT epic.

• People’s creativity really shines when it comes to exercise machines. Usually in an unsafe way.

• I swear the City of Windsor WANTS to spark road rage by not using sensors at traffic lights. Don’t make me sit at a red light for 5 minutes at 4:30am when there’s no traffic, and I’m pretty sure an advance turn signal isn’t needed at that hour either.

• Why do you want a “read receipt” on all your emails? Isn’t that annoying to get back constantly? I’m annoyed when I have to check the box to say NOT to send it to you. It’s very Big Brother, and I don’t want you to know that I’m ignoring the email right now.

• To the man who has suddenly started eating 4 slices of toast in the lunch room during morning break – please stop. It smells so good. Don’t even get me started on the cinnamon brown sugar cream cheese… Which I obviously had to buy when I smelled it. Thanks!

I bought this… it’s sitting in the fridge waiting patiently. I think it would make a pretty amazing cheesecake (who am I kidding, it’s just going to go on a rice cake).

• If you leave a table and don’t push your chair back in, I judge you for a lack of manners.

• I also judge you for using “your / you’re” or “there / they’re / their” incorrectly. I’m a snob.

I have to give credit to this… it’s brilliant. Or epic. Yeah, it’s epic.

• Skinny jeans should not be physically possible for men to wear. And stop the man buns!

• Being barefoot on stage still kind of creeps me out, but I don’t miss the plastic stripper heels at all.

Ok, really?