Sporty, preppy, nerdy, gothic, sexy, alternative, musical, fit, academic, fashionable, trendy… Us females have a lot of categories to choose from!
What you like, how you dress, your goals, and your beliefs are what make you YOU. Trying to force change in those areas is next to impossible, and will likely make you (mentally and physically) uncomfortable and miserable.
To be honest (this is my blog… why would I be less than honest??), I’ve struggled with this my whole life. I’m pretty insecure overall, and have always just tried to do what I thought would help me fit in (or blend in to avoid attention). While I’ve grown out of some of this, I still have moments of self-doubt and with my new lifestyle and physical appearance, it hits pretty hard sometimes.
The stereotypical “feminine” look is pretty clear cut – thin with curves in the right places (and by curves I mean boobs, not a quad sweep). I’ll see girls wearing really cute outfits and wistfully think of how different it would look if I wore the same thing. And different doesn’t have to mean BAD, just different.
I’ve always been the tall, athletic one in the group. Suitably, my style has always fallen more into the athletic realm – when you usually wear running shoes and leggings, you don’t want to leave that comfort zone! Sometimes I can pull things together that are slightly trendier, and while that’s fun, overall it’s not me.
Throughout the week I have good intentions of putting effort into looking nice for work – high heels, tights, freshly done hair, precise makeup, etc. Butttt, when I stand in front of my closet, pants, t-shirts, and running shoes seem so much better – and is more “me”.
I joke that I’m not “girly”, but it’s really the truth. In theory, I enjoy the idea of girly things, but when it comes down to it, it all seems like so. much. effort. Painting your nails? They just chip and look terrible – who has time to keep them perfect? Nicely highlighted hair? The time and cost of that maintenance overwhelms me. The woman who waxes my eyebrows (my one feminine requirement) always kindly points out that I never have my nails done…. Thanks for pointing that out to me. Kudos to the girls who look put together every day, it’s just really not ME – and I’m starting to be totally ok with that.
My physical build is another issue which sometimes causes me to feel insecure – broad shoulders, thicker arms, and wide lats. Try fitting THAT into normal female clothing! Don’t get me wrong, this is what I want and am working hard towards, but occasionally I have questioning moments – especially when I feel squished into clothing, or see other girls looking cute in their little feminine outfits which would make me feel like I look ridiculous. When I start to feel insecure, I think of the things I’ve accomplished to build this physique and pride replaces those thoughts.
As I “grow up” I’m learning to accept insecurities a little easier. Moments of doubt are shorter and more fleeting. The clothes I’ve bought represent me the most, and I’m most comfortable in them. They suit my personality and that’s exactly how it should be. The desire to look a different way, or pull off a different style would be a temporary fix, something fun to try from time to time, but I’ll always fall back into what suits me. Realizing these differences took a long time – it’s ok to be different, you don’t have to match your friends or what the media portrays to us. Don’t change yourself to fit in, embrace your own style and passion. I’ll leave you with this amazing thought: